…wow… (old thoughts, but always amazing to think)
I don’t feel appreciated, or even VISIBLE (in a mom-and-dad-aren’t-there-for-me-and-it-feels-like-I-don’t-matter-(and-don’t-deserve-love, therefore” type of way
when people “like” me for something normal, average.
it feels too much like
they don’t mean what they are saying,
they don’t care,
they aren’t real,
they aren’t REALLY
SEEING/CARING about me.
I only seem to feel that it matters (and it may not even then, we shall see)
when people appreciate me for something DISTINCTIVE,
something individual, unique, DIFFERENT/WEIRD/CRAZY.
(some people might get that from being viewed as bad-boys, punks, skaters, etc…)
these thoughts were prodded by the notion that
the word “OBVI” is becoming shorthand for OBVIOUS, in a lame valleygirl speak way.
I was about to say:
“I don’t go in for these
TRENDY things” because: