or. hm…

and yeah, sex is cool,

but companionship, man, I don’t usually find activities involving other people comparable to the ones I do alone. not sexual ones, but other ones.

unless said activities ARE the ones I also do alone.

so who the fuck knows.

today a friend said something about how some people, face trauma in their childhood (not always the horrible kind,)

and SOME people put it behind them and just focus on being successful or whatever, and yet after a while, they end up very unhappy. (presumably because they didn’t face their demons (or whatever you shall call them) and DEAL with them, they didn’t underSTAND them, themselves.)

whereas OTHERS (like me, like us, artist friends)

may be unhappy earlier, and now, but in truth ARE very happy in our artist ways, and ARE trying to FACE the truths, to UNDERSTAND them, and to BE AUTHENTIC rather than just go through the motions.

and as any music teacher (or athletic trainer, or parent, or anyone worth a damn really) can tell you,

this takes time.

rome was not built in a day,

and

one doesn’t learn music in just a few short weeks or even years.

when you DO get “there” though, wherever THERE is,

you got their KNOWINGLY, with AUTHENTICITY, INTEGRITY and UNDERSTANDING.

to do otherwise would be like knowing how to IMITATE a language but not speak it.

of limited use.

do it the real way.

and this takes longer.

so…

it seems like I’m indeed on the right path after all,

and that comparing myself to others is never good, and

that I deserve far more Self-Compassion.

right, then.