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business and pleasure don’t go together

it has occurred to me that sometimes, in groups, say, of musicians, that one of those involved in is a sexual relationship with another involved, possibly the leader. possibly a not very exclusive relationship.

it sometimes seems that the sexual relationship was more important than the working one.

as if the sexual relationship is the reason for the working one.

that sounds like it’s never a good idea.

and I can’t imagine me doing that.

I mean I can’t imagine a woman and I having a thing together (ha) and then BECAUSE of the thing, having her in one of my groups.

sorry sweetheart, but it doesn’t work that way.

and WOW I’m a jerk!

and/or a big  loser. yep.

I am indeed VERY afraid, petrified even,

it has just now occurred to me (perhaps not for the first time)

that I am indeed VERY afraid, petrified even,
(there ARE exceptions, very notable ones)

and that where others would be ambitious, particularly after showing great talent, ability, and success even,

I merely freeze, and wait for others to go away, so that I can feel safe again,

rather than actually be ambitious and move FARTHER forward.

1. sometimes it looks as though that which is farther forward is not as interesting as that which I have already done.
2. sometimes it would be good if I did so anyway, or at least employed others to do it for me or help me (I can’t be my own manager, I’m AWFUL at it.)
3. I also often, when I look, I don’t SEE what others see; when it occurs to others to “oh, next I would do THIS, or THAT”, this does NOT occur to me, often, OTHER things do (nothing wrong with this.)

hm.

you got no right LABELING me with a DISORDER

you got no right LABELING me with a DISORDER.
FUCK you.

just cause you’re more COMMON and AVERAGE than me doesn’t mean SHIT.

I don’t have ATTENTION disorder, YOU have
LOW fucking standards, and BEING ALL TOO ORDINARY AND BORING disorder.

 

 

 

*I am told, by a commenter (facebook friend) that

“this is the best thing I have heard from you all year.”

and incidentally,

 

this is properly, when stated more eloquently, called

THE BACKWARDS-BIZZARO THEORY (or backwards BIZARRO (sp) theory.

missing Joe LaBarbara, “working” instead

I was gonna go see Joe LaBarbara tonight…. now I gotta WORK instead (and by work, I mean compose the ending to a Marching band show with the only stipulations being that it finishes the last song (which I WROTE) and uses some of the material from the first song (which I also WROTE.)

 

if you can consider “composing music” to be work, and if you can consider marching band music to in fact be “music” (hey, I like the stuff, sometimes, and I can say more for it than “at least, my TASTE”, in country, or folk (nothing against them, they just…. don’t much “speak” to me, but that says little about them and everything about me, just like people I’m not attracted to, they are fine, I just, don’t want em that way.

 

#onlyhuman:)

I just used the term “V for Vendettafication” to describe-

I just used the term

“V for Vendettafication”

to describe a chord progression.

HELL yeah

it was the kind where one note is sustained, and several chords, all of which CONTAIN said note, are played under/above it.

 

such as

A is the note…

am   (a is the root

B7   (a is the minor 7th)

FM7   (a is the major 3rd)

DM add 9.   A is the perfect 5th.)

(this is actually from V for Vendetta (“Evey Reborn”) (though similar progressions are found throughout the ENTIRE soundtrack…(“I want this message to be heard throughout the ENTIRE INTerlink!”)

 

 

sigh…I’m glad that I don’t really care about being famous-

sigh… reading some friends’s posts (none of you who are seeing this in particular (I hid the people who it “really” applies to)

I’m glad that I don’t really care about being famous, or perceived in a certain way, and that what really matters (hopefully I’m “not” kidding myself (I might indeed be, the mind is sneaky like that (I’d be lying if I said I “didn’t” “somewhat enjoy” people’s admiration (but it doesn’t have to be millions of average people)
um… yeah…
I‘m glad, if it’s true, that being in the moment, of drumming, and dance on occasion (usually drumming, since Alfred Ladzekpo retired) (he was a teacher of African (from Ghana) Music and Dance, at CalArts for 41 years, for those of you not in-the-know.)

yeah, I‘m glad, if it’s true, that being in the moment, of drumming, and dance on occasion (usually drumming, since Alfred Ladzekpo retired) is SO “IT.” it’s never about being admired, or being payed a lot, even anything, or about being FAMOUS or adored by millions (yeah, millions of nobody’s who have nothing vested in me, and who don’t understand my art.)

no, no.

it’s about momentary interaction, coming together with a few people, drummers, dancers, perhaps singers or other things too….
or simply listening to music.

now, here, music you love so much you couldn’t care less about anything else, and could die at the end of the night, or song.

I’m sorry, but all lifeforms will die, and it can’t be about living forever (though maybe that changes?:)
it can’t be about passing on legacies, or one’s children. they shall have to fend for themselves, and that is simply the way of things.
attachment, don’t do too much of it.

just be here now, ok?

and if you don’t LOVE the performance to the endth degree of ecstasy, my friends, then I really cannot advise you other than keep seeking, for all I know is what I’ve said.

too serious and not alottafun

a lotta people are really too serious and no fun.
some other people are really whimsical and ALOTTAVAGINA, I mean fun, a lotta fun, (hey is there a difference?) (of course there is, I have plenty of one, none of the other)