not lying here, but my how it is strange to actually get things done, when most of my days, at least to me (not just to me, by ANY standard) feel like I am getting nothing, FAR LESS than everyone done.
I mean, let’s not forget, I don’t really even have a life.
right now, my home is clean, most uniquely, and we (I) are (am) making every effort to NOT give in even once to letting it slip beneath this. (only because I know, from hundreds of experiences, that a single slip leads to a million more, and poof: you are tripping over a bag of rice milk containers in at 6am on february 2nd (still awake from the 1st, that is,) and breaking your toe….
when I like, am meeting the same responsibilities that everyone else (ok, maybe not everyone, maybe not eve a lot of people, who knows) are, THEN I’ll have a life.
but fuck that, that’s a cruel, MINIMIZING and SELF-UNDERMINING attitude towards one or myself, ah yes.
anyway. I somehow got things done today. now if Only I could do that tomorrow too…
p.s. I only seem to get things done when
1. I meet other people who are in charge of said things at like 11am somewhere far from home, or
2. I am allowed all day to “get around to it” and then actually HAVE 4 hours left in the day to DO so, before it becomes like 1am when I am still awake stewing…
let us sleep now.
or at least, let us watch some of Lord of the Rings and some other things till we get exhausted, and THEN sleep, then wake up at 4am with the lights on, turn them off and THEN sleep.