how other people treat me…. has usually seemed to be more important than I feel about myself…

that’s… a sign that all is not well, but we’re working, on it, that is.

sometimes, long long ago, I had a few relations with people.

but it seems, that it was more about amazement (that they would be nice to me, contrasting with my most negative views of myself (hey, they’re still negative, but not the way they were then, no.)

amazement that people would be nice to me.

sad that a person would ever form such negative views of oneself.

but you seem to get what you ask for.

so, let’s ask for happy stuff and let’s believe happy stuff.

this seems like The Secret. or not.
it also is something my Therapist, DOCTOR BRANDEN (the one that had a 26-year affair with Ayn Rand) said.