so many years…. so little has changed, though I guess some things have, and are, and some day we’ll all die, yes…
hows that for a grave opening.
boy, 30 hours have gone buy, I only slept 6 (not 8) of them…
boy, it really does hurt when I am reminded that life seems indeed to have some wonderful things to offer, things that other people have been doing forever,
things that I am simply not engaged in nor trying to learn.
things I will have to engage in and learn, if they are to happen.
not because I am a coward, no,
but simply because I am terrified and always have been.
I know… I know….
….
just learn them, baby steps.
why didn’t I do this the last 5, 10, 15, 20 years…
(I know why…)
the second best time to plant a tree…
…
it’s humiliating to be beginner at something that most people already know.
Yeah I’m great at this and that, yeah yeah.
sigh when if ever will I just do the work and …
I hate people, they’re so scary.
I can’t defend myself from them with music.
that just leads to music.
I love music.
but it’s not enough.