I knew a guy named ***, and a woman named ####, in undergrad.
both played trumpet (not at CalArts, before it.)
people, I think a bit disparagingly, called him “Cool ***” (he simply had one of those kinda charismatic NYC voices, that’s all, and he smiled a lot, that’s all,)
and the other, people called, Crackhead ####.
BOTH, behind their back, NEVER to their face.
I of course, didn’t see why either name would be offensive IN THE SLIGHTEST,
so I of course, called both of them these nicknames TO THEIR FACE,
MOST UN-self-consciously (and proud of it, thank you very much.)
It’s not that was socially inept, but I simply didn’t find those terms offensive, nor see any reason why they should be.
if the names had ACTUALLY hurt their feelings, (and if they had ACTUALLY, CLEARly communicated to me that they DID,)
I’d have of course not used them.
I tend to assume, when I talk to people DIRECTLY, that they mean what they say. (I usually do, myself.)
hell yeah.
(to this day, when someone has a nickname (usually something I cook up myself,) I ASK them, POINT FUCKING BLANK, do they mind if I use it, for I had pretty uncool nicknames when I was little. I won’t want to hurt their feelings if using the nickname would, but again, alas,
they need to be clear with me about their true feelings.”)