I shall say, I resent VERY deeply that so many people are either
not authentic or
not very bright or
sellouts,
or just bloody boring.
good thing I’m not:)
Category Archives: CalArts (California Institute of the Arts)
so many ideas and goals, have I
I’ve SO. MANY.
goals and Ideas I want to do, but doing day-to-day things get in the way of them so often, as does procrastinating said day-to-day thing. (I don’t even have that many day-to-day things, Imagine being married, a parent…)
I lose track of them.
writing them down doesn’t help “much”, I misplace the things they are written on, particular if they are written in a computer.
I don’t know often HOW to work towards such things, (often the way that seems logical to ME, is lambasted by others (but what do they know, indeed (but too often, I give them my thoughts, and end up self-underminging my own instincts, getting all stressed…)
then I calm down, reconnect (ahhh, one of those elusive words that yoga people and hippies use) with myself, and my own instincts, and then repeat, but there so many of them.
I do need better habits.
I’ve had good habits for two days.
there are just so many of these nifty goals and ideas…. they are chaos, they overwhelm. I shall not be told that I must go against my own instincts in the HOW TO advice from others who do not understand what being me is all about.
if any of you friends are or are to be my “partners” in such ventures, I ask you to get together with me often, so we can do these things.
crawling before walking “is” true, but
it seems as I become older, that I somehow DO see more and more that “doing the basics” and not moving beyond where you can handle, when it comes to learning music, (and everything, (such as me learning how to “have relationships (which frankly, we’ve not even beGUN, I’m still in the “I like myself, I deserve to be happy” phase…)
is wise….
you really DO need to crawl before you can walk.
unless you are super gifted and insane, like Anakin…
so in THAT case, one size does NOT fit ALL, just many.
don’t ignore the exceptions.
(that, ignoring the exceptions, has LONG been my Major concern, it is merely occurring to me, an obviousness, that most people are not in fact exceptions.)
but some of us (like me) are. at least sometimes.
WHO’S an introvert (and also NOT one)
dear self, let’s make a list of
either/or
1. people that I am actually comfortable around, and/or
2. people that I may not be comfortable around but their presence, combined with mine, results in so much funny and fun high stimulation that I cease to be aware that I may in fact still be uncomfortable.
that is a very few people indeed.
maybe OTHERS live in a mind-made prison…
today, I feel that it’s not I but
OTHERS
yes,
who live in a mind-made prison:)
trust my own instincts. yes that.
a lotta people ain’t my type
A whole lotta people ain’t my type.
they don’t have to be.
not a ton to say about it, just the title.
I’ve absolutely gotta have more faith and less doubt in myself, particularly when (as is almost always the case), other people are different than I.
what is the Point of everything, of LIFE?
so, Censored, what the @*#*(% is the POINT of everything, of LIFE?
it can’t be accumulation of material goods, such as my nifty outfits (mm hmm….)
it’s gotta be just getting by and just being happy, for sure.
well, drumming with friends in less than an hour.
that should do it today!:)
African Music is Bloody Awesome, among the awesomest thing in the woild, but what do I know. (I know what I like, and that counts for a whole lot, in my case.)
what right
what right do people have to compare and judge me as a PERSON, when they intend to do so merely as a student.
what steps are we taking, if any, to ensure that young children do not come away from being judged and compared, feeling like they themselves as a PERSON, feeling worthless?
sometimes, to me at least, it felt, (it’s a little hard to remember, honestly) that when I was little, that when people “labeled” me, labeled me adhd and a problem child…. that they were saying that I was a bad person and was invalid, did not deserve to be loved, much less be happy, much less have anything to offer people.
that surely had a lot (everything, in fact) to do with “the home environment” and it’s “dysfunctional tendencies” yes.
people really should just “care” more, “care enough”, and I’m talking about educators.
it’s not as if young students are just OBJECTS, to be employed some day; they are people and they have feelings and they won’t make it that far if they feel this way.
so, let’s educate “carefully” and “label” carefully, shall we?
Labeling people seems bad.
Labeling people seems bad. especially if they are children, children who are vulnerable to taking the label serious, when in truth, the label might be not at all meaningful, even arbitrary, or just some SCHMUCK’s opinion:)
remember this.
believing that the way you do things is normal
believing-
that the way you do things is normal and right,
just because it’s the way you do things…
may indeed be normal,
but it doesn’t seem inherently right.