not that I’m old, but the older I get, at least in this mood right here right now,
the less participation I want in normal society, for it is just so unspeakably stupid and pathetic, and no one cares. soare me all this boring ordinary stuff. I’d rather be alone with my own thoughts and knowledge, my super fun music and super fun music friends.
Category Archives: I’m a Crazy Artist
hmmm…
had UTTERLY AMAZING ideas tonight, folks.
had UTTERLY AMAZING ideas tonight, folks.
in short, in some ways, I don’t know what I’m talking about, and must stop acting like do, feeling like I should, trying to, and judging myself as If I should.
I need to be a beginner, (which in truth I am) and learn, as a small child might, for I do not yet know enough to even know what I like or what I want, when it comes to some things.
the standards of things about which I DO know what I like, and AM experienced, must NOT be used on these other, inexperienced things, any more.
well, yes, this is the way of things, then.
why should I make people comfortable?
… why the FUCK…
should I make people comfortable?
what the fuck are they doing to make ME comfortable?
not much.
they mediate with generic normalness, (ugh)
which can lead
1. people who are actually cool to behaving as if they are NOT,
2. people who are NOT cool to pretending (and failing in said endeavor) that they ARE (laughable and embarrassing, from my point of view, for them)
no, fuck that.
people should
BE HONEST and BE THEMSELVES
and congregate with those with TRULY THE RIGHT CHEMISTRY, fuck all this ass kissing.
THIS is what makes sense to ME, not them “average people’s social norms.”
call me primitive, go ahead. fuck you.
na, but come the fuck on, just tell the truth, don’t play games and mislead people. be you me, we might love it.
tagged politics cause politicians should do this, and have principles.
changing the pre-planned order of a song is awesome
changing the pre-planned order of a song, in live performance, keeps things lively but also keeps them (the band) rather nervous.”
so said DON ELLIS, (paraphrased here.)
“but also keeps them rather nervous.”
a new piece I am playing does exactly that.
I am feeling that more music should, it’s just too fun.
in one gig of this piece (2nd ever, I think)
there were some sexy dancers dancing along with us, and in THIS tune, I HAD to “not look at them”, lest I miss a cue and louse it up
Tagged AFRICAN because this technique sorta comes from African (West) Drumming.
“!somebody help me! I’M BEING SPONTANEOUS!!!”
-the truman show
body clock > caffeine (sp)
I awoke at 8:20 am today… for some reason, left home real early to work on stuff… HOURS earlier than I usually put my mind to anything important than isn’t being RUN by OTHER PEOPLE (in the morning, and early afternoon, that is.)
suddenly, even though I drank coffee 3 HOURS ago, now, that it’s 3pm, BOOOOM!!!!
I”VE GOT TONS OF ENERGY!!! WHAT THE HELL! (happy, just funny)
Brazilian Music (a song called MAGIA by BANDA BLACK RIO) is responsible as well.
I guess you shouldn’t put up walls between yourself and others
I guess you shouldn’t put up walls between yourself and others, even if it was other people in your childhood who put them up, forcibly, and you just accepted them because you thought they were real (indeed, they kinda were,) (the matrix again)
you shouldn’t minimize yourself in such a way, for example:
“so and so (a woman who is sexually attractive) wouldn’t date me because she has dated “this guy” or “that guy” and I’m nothing like those guys.
I bet- after many years of empy loneliness oh god,
that that simply ain’t true. I must have what women want.
yes that.
geez this makes me nervous hahahaaaa
the HELL with NORMAL SOCIAL CUES.
people always taught me that I MISSED, as in DIDN’T NOTICE or UNDERSTAND “NORMAL SOCIAL CUES.”
but why should anyone AGREE with the Cursed things ANYHOW?
they don’t SUIT me. so FUCk em!
MAYBE the damn things just didn’t make SENSE to me, and MAYBE it WASN’T ME that was the issue, maybe it’s the damn social cues, maybe they are are just KINDA STUPID.
as you reach out and try to collaborate
as you reach out and try to collaborate, with anyone for any purpose,
know this, particularly if you are more unique than other individuals:
you might not and probably will not get along well with almost EVERYONE. I mean seriously, would you marry ANYONE? I doubt it.
I’ve had some lousy therapists, I have a good one “who happens to work well with me” now. (happens, not because they are good or bad, nor me, (that’s important!) but just because of CHEMISTRY, so to speak…
for gods SAKE people (or, whomever’s)
DO NOT blame YOURSELF on CHEMISTRY!!!!
I love chords, notes, and hearing them
it has occurred to me once again that a lot of people simply can’t very easily hear, say, the Root, Third, and Fifth (and other notes) of a Triad, when listening to chords, in a row, etc…
pity them, it’s really beautiful and stimulating. who needs money or sex, I got this;)
it’d be very nice to have a platform from which to launch and do my ideas
it’d be very nice to have a platform from which to launch and do my ideas. namely a manager and agent, but ones who help realize MY stuff, not others’s. unless it’s the same:)
anybody got one? such a thing, I mean, got such a thing?
(I really seriously need help with this folks, I’m wasting, some day it will be too late.)