i REALLY need to be in get things done mode without internet daily.
for hours.
Category Archives: ADHD Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
ADHD is awesome, mostly.
try things no matter what
not bothering to try things because you are afraid of disappointing someone…
that can’t be a good way to live.
do not self-judge quickly…
…Rushing to a perfectionist self-judgement of nearly everything you do, right away, even during or before you do it… or to a comparison with other people, be they real or imagined, or simply mis-perceived…
never good.
simply don’t do it.
start by recognizing that you do it.
then just stop.
and move forward. really hard to relax it can be, if you are not used to it.
but you must.
move forward and make mistakes and be in the unknown anyway.
otherwise you’ll just stay where you are, which, if this resonates, you don’t really want to be.
water my flames
it feels like I am a
tense
fearful
defensive
and
Angry Being, not to mention a Fiery High-Energy one of Passion as well.
perhaps my flames shall be cooled by water.
not put out, just made less self-damaging.
I seldom try hard enough
I seldom try hard enough, even at all.
let’s remember this.
punishing kids like this is wrong
here is a petition to get rid of an apparent policy where they make kids SIT AND STARE AT A WALL for NINETY MINUTES as punishment, in, of all places, MY SCHOOL DISTRICT in rochester NY where I am from (I’ll not say “grew up”… cause… well, that would imply that I did so.)
https://www.change.org/p/west-irondequoit-board-of-education-overturn-jeff-crane-s-abusive-sit-and-stare-policy?recruiter=10947751&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=autopublish&utm_term=des-lg-share_petition-reason_msg&fb_ref=Default
Hey. I’m from here. I went to numerous schools here. As a creative artist, I’m ADHD and proud of it. I learned a lot about music in Irondequoit schools from grade 4 all the way through high school graduation (after which I continued to study music (and to perform and teach it) to this day.
School was hard enough, what with other kids berating me for talking fast and being different.
I persisted, even got a lot of A
s in high school. (and I WASN’T on adhd-meds at that time.)
If I had been treated like this, FOR BEING DIFFERENT, for being higher energy (which, to put it politely, is no crime,) if I had been “Labeled” MORE THAN I ALREADY WAS….
to this day I suffer from believing that I am unlovable and invalid, and “how I was treated by mom and dad AND kids (and teachers) at school has
EVERYTHING to do with that…
if I had been made to sit and stare for NINETY MINUTES… BECAUSE OF HOW MY BRAIN WORKS, the SPEED of it.., my DIFFERENCES in LEARNING and THINKING than “AVERAGE PEOPLE” (that, normal people,)
Imagine how much MORE guilty and shameful I’d feel, JUST BECAUSE I AM MYSELF and not someone else!
I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY whether I think and learn and act the same as everyone else or not.
there are plenty of ways of “helping” children of ALL varieties GET THROUGH school.
treating them like they are broken and bad and criminals isn’t one of them.
stop this now.
suffering, compassion, and not judging
judging… sometimes I find it easy to think that people who have suffered less than me, don’t REALLY understand suffering at all…
yet…. what would people who have suffered far MORE than I think, of ME, if they thought this way?
I shouldn’t judge.
but it’s hard not to, sometimes.
surely that (?) means that I am not fully at peace with MY OWN suffering yet.
good thing there’s more of life left, and more therapy left.
INAPPROPRIATE ORCHESTRATION.
I seem to be a fan of shall we say
INAPPROPRIATE ORCHESTRATION.
GLockenspiels (three of them) playing in their LOWEST registers, and NOT using them in the “expected” manner, etc.
Norms, Interesting, Abnorms, etc.
if music with cooler rhythms and harmonies was NORMAL, I’d be normal in a heartbeat.
but it’s not about being normal, it’s about what’s INTERESTING… to ME…
so, are you telling me,
A. many people ARE interested in “norms”
B. many people are in fact NOT, nor are they even IN TOUCH with what THEY ACTUALLY ARE interested in, and they just “conform because for some reason they are afraid of, even noticing that they don’t know what they would like,” much less admitting it, much less looking for or discovering it?
(it seems so.)
or, maybe many people just have simpler tastes than I and ARE satisfied by what is typical. maybe a lot of both.
I wanna do what’s interesting to ME.
don’t see what’s wrong with that.
either many people are just boring (to me,) or many people WOULD BE interesting, but haven’t faced up to it and become their would-be selves yet. likely a lot of both.
greater individualism in business, not conformity
so it would seem that maybe a lot or most average business people are
NOT VERY IMAGINATIVE…
either that and/or they are sellouts, catering to average people and the lowest common denominator.
how else do you explain the fact that most of their ideas are status quo, not that interesting, when
SO
many more fabulously creative and interesting and
repeat after me-
IN-DI-VID-U-AL
things are possible?
like a bloody food or coffee establishment with a QUIRKY unusual menu, one that’s NOT designed to BE what all the other ones are but better,
but to be
DIFFERENT, different as in
IT-BLOODY SELF!!!!
like SELL INDIAN food, or self-help books, or art books, or architecture magazines, or some other QUIRKY shits that don’t usually or EVER go together! and play classical music on certain days, and miles davis only on thursdays at 1am or somethin.
don’t be what everyone else ALREADY IS, dammit.
Like CalArts, my school. (though I graduated ages ago, I don’t use the term alma mater, no no no.) I wouldn’t want to see IT turned into what most other schools ALREADY ARE, only a lousier version of them, while ALSO becoming a LESS “IT” version of ITSELF….
(this is called, by me, THE GERSHWIN-SCHOENBERG ARGUMENT.”
America Composer George Gershwin, (this may be made up, but who care)
may have approached 12-tone inventor Arnold Schoenberg, for “composition lessons” at one point.
apparently, Schoenberg (this, again, may be just legend, but it’s point is excellent maximus)
ahem, Schoenberg allegedly said that he would NOT give Gerswhin lessons, for “If I gave you lessons, you’d just become a bad Schoenberg…. you’re already such a great Gerswhin!”
that goes for PEOPLE TOO! especially my artist friends.
and seriously, anybody wanna partner up (that is, pay for) investing in such a thing, I’m seriously down. up hit me.
( I tagged this, among the usual things,
to do with “WOMEN” and “POLITICS” because well I think it could apply to politicians and to “people in the dating scene.” as well. stop trying to be what everyone ELSE Is, dammit, just BE. YOU. dammit.