I also seem to have begun learning that just because options present themselves does not mean that I want them.
this is good.
just because people are available does not mean I want them.
nice to experience this.
(ladies! my standards are going up! get me while you can! muahahaha)
my it’s easy to compare yourself and get less happy late at night, after encountering others.
lets NOT do that, let’s sleep.
MAN, relaxing in a social intimate way one on one, even in a social place, has always been hard for me.
I should say more about this.
soon.
read:
SEX APPEAL=BRC CURRENCY:
http://brcweekly.com/BRCWeekly2015_int.pdf
(down on the left)
neat article.
perhaps it is impossible to escape norms, but at least you can go and have YOUR VERY OWN version of the freak show, YOUR freak show.
I wrote these:
Mike Robbins- “we can’t abide being worthless” it says. no no, that’s allowing the status quo and the default world to define us. fuck that. we define ourselves, I define myself. fuck money, fuck sex (hell yeah,) and fuck letting the default world or anything DEFINE me. I’m me, in all my glory, deal with it or fuck off.
Mike Robbins- that quote reminded me of how the guys in FIGHT CLUB (at least the movie version) allow society to define their worth, rather than defining it themselves on their own terms.
just listening, perhaps without advice…
man, cool music really DOES make me not give a fuck!
a wonderful thing, who needs drugs. I got beats and the blues and dominant sharp 9 chords, bitches.
never rejoice in others’s suffering, that just says things about you and your own pain. deal with that instead.
but yes, if it happens it happens.
and it has.
OFFICIAL MIKE ROBBINS SLOGANS of Burningman 2015 were/are:
“I don’t give a fuck!” and
“Hell yeah” (Neo voice, from the kung fu scene in the fist matrix.)
they both pertain to being exhausted as fuck, worrying less, and having a great (musical) time in spite of being exhausted as fuck.
as I am still saying ‘Hell yeah”, It seems safe to say that I am still exhausted as fuck and having a great musical time.
it was a DISCO party that did it… ooh yeah. and my flashy light sabre thingy.
more about it later.
it is currently day 11 (almost 12) of the POST-BURNINGMAN HAZE (I don’t do drugs, it’s just that being out there for days, basically ON the whole time, even when passing out exhausted, is REALLY exhausting, and has been EVERY year I’ve gone, going back to 2003 (this was my 6th time.)
more later.
man, if this love, or marriage, or whatever, thing,
happens to me, if it’s anything like that in the photos of my friends,
it’s gonna be awesome.
just imagine… people happy, people smiling…
people feeling good enough, people accepting, even loving.
nice ideas.
fuck, I cried a tear typing that.(what can I say, friends, this much isolation, for this long, self-imposed or otherwise, is just painful sometimes.) (no, always.)
life could be magical.
perhaps some time it will.
HAPPY people, a HAPPY person.
happy ME and happy her too.
just imagine.
pretty different than the loveless existence I call life, these days, and all days.
BUT LETS START WITH US, yes.
I love me.
I must say this, I must learn this.
I live my life, not someone else’s.
p.s. I got music, I got friends, I got family, I got a lot. just, ya know. it’s different.
I didn’t mean that life is always painful, but it IS so whenever I’m in the proverbial vicinity of, uh, relations and connections of a potentially sexual nature with women.
gotta reach out.
even though I’m weird, and people will reject me plenty.
gotta reach out.
I hate that.
gotta reach out.