Category Archives: Thought of the Day

ADHD Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, CalArts (California Institute of the Arts), Frustrations about women 'n' stuff, I'm a Crazy Artist, Philosophy, Self-Helping, Thought of the Day, Uncategorized

appreciation for uniqueness/norms don’t cut it

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…wow… (old thoughts, but always amazing to think)

I don’t feel appreciated, or even VISIBLE (in a mom-and-dad-aren’t-there-for-me-and-it-feels-like-I-don’t-matter-(and-don’t-deserve-love, therefore” type of way

when people “like” me for something normal, average.

it feels too much like

they don’t mean what they are saying,
they don’t care,
they aren’t real,
they aren’t REALLY
SEEING/CARING about me.

I only seem to feel that it matters (and it may not even then, we shall see)
when people appreciate me for something DISTINCTIVE,
that is,

something individual, unique, DIFFERENT/WEIRD/CRAZY.

(some people might get that from being viewed as bad-boys, punks, skaters, etc…)

these thoughts were prodded by the notion that

the word “OBVI” is becoming shorthand for OBVIOUS, in a lame valleygirl speak way.

I was about to say:

“I don’t go in for these
TRENDY things” because:

see above.

ADHD Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, CalArts (California Institute of the Arts), Frustrations about women 'n' stuff, I'm a Crazy Artist, Philosophy, Self-Helping, Thought of the Day, Uncategorized

ask of oneself

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which is why I can’t afford to not ask what is the best I can be doing, can’t afford to not ask what I would be doing differently if I wasn’t afraid, believed I could have or do anything, and believed that I deserved to be happy, to be loved, and was a good person, and that I mattered.
this me
is the one I must be,
not his opposite.

ADHD Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, CalArts (California Institute of the Arts), Frustrations about women 'n' stuff, I'm a Crazy Artist, Music, Philosophy, Self-Helping, Thought of the Day, Uncategorized

Q:if I am capable of doing A LOT of things

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Q:if I am capable of doing A LOT of things that I want…
then why do I
do
almost non them
day in and day out?
A:I am SIMPLY
not
in the habit of being effective.
I am simply
not trying.
this I bet is difficult for non-adhd people to understand correctly.
many of them would assume that if one is not doing something, it’s because one does not want it.
but life is far more complex than that.
long story short:let’s get the fuck going.

Harmony, Music, Music Theory, Philosophy, Rhythmic Insanity, Thought of the Day, Uncategorized

Jazz Is

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Saw this today. Nice.
Jazz is the only music in which the same note can be played night after night but differently each time. – Ornette Coleman
Jazz is the type of music that can absorb so many things and still be jazz. – Sonny Rollins
Jazz is there and gone. It happens. You have to be present for it. That simple. – Keith Jarrett
Jazz to me is a living music. – Dexter Gordon
Jazz today, as always in the past, is a matter of thoughtful creation, not mere unaided instinct. – Duke Ellington
Jazz was not only built in the minds of the great ones, but on the backs of the ordinary ones. – Cab Calloway
Jazz washes away the dust of everyday life. – Art Blakey
Jazz will endure just as long people hear it through their feet instead of their brains. – John Philip Sousa
Knowledge speaks but wisdom listens. – Jimi Hendrix
Let there be bass. – Leo Fender
Life is a lot like jazz, it’s best when you improvise. – George Gershwin

ADHD Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, CalArts (California Institute of the Arts), Frustrations about women 'n' stuff, I'm a Crazy Artist, Music, Philosophy, Self-Helping, Thought of the Day, Uncategorized

I never seem to even know HOW to

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I never seem to even know HOW to pursue what I want…
especially when people attempt to inform me but “the way in which they
a. tell me
b. suggest that I go about it
are antithetical to “what “I” would do.
really gotta try again and do what “I” would do, and live with it.
only then shall I fail and succeed.

ADHD Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, African Music, CalArts (California Institute of the Arts), I'm a Crazy Artist, Minimalism, Music, Philosophy, Rhythmic Insanity, Self-Helping, Thought of the Day, Uncategorized

tail end of a conversation bout music.

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tail end of a conversation bout music.
most things don’t “do it” for me… NO, wait, most things don’t do it for me IN THE WAY THAT I WANT at the moment, that is, in the way that SAID THINGS DO do it for me. I like proverbial cocaine. thatis, High Stimulation.
something fun once, is fun a million times too.
hence
African Music
and Minimalism.
And Brazilian Music.
and any (boorbaar) combination of these.

Harmony, Music, Music Theory, Thought of the Day, Uncategorized, Wagner

Lord of the Rings Music and motifs

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I just realized that what I have ALWAYS THOUGHT was THE MORDOR MOTIF from lord of the rings, is almost all of the same notes as THE RING MOTIF from lord of the rings. !!!
different tempo, context, symbolism, intstruments…. different resolution….. different harmonic context…. SAME MELODY. DANG!
Hahahaha
how did I MISS that.
that IS like Wagner!
(said themes are both in the hobbit fims as well)
b C b CbAb……
slow… that’s it.
the RING motif, is, the same notes, fast, in strings, over f minor, moving to e minor, plus C B E….
OBVIOUSLY they would be related. man, that’s as cool as when it happens in wagner. wow.

p.s it’s actually B C B CB A-natural, not flat, in the “ring” motif.