Category Archives: I’m a Crazy Artist

hmmm…

Harmony, I'm a Crazy Artist, Music, Music Theory, Thought of the Day, Uncategorized

chords with Eb from V for Vendetta

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I taught this at A.C.E. one summer, after randomly noticing it while planning class one morning (5 hours before the class, while driving to another class elsewhere to teach first)

Eb or D#, in all chords:

-G Aug (G B D#)
-F7 (dominant 7, for you classicals, F A C Eb)
-ebm (Eb Gb Bb)
-BM (B D# F#)
-F7
-cm (C Eb G)
-f#m Add 6th (F# A C# D#)

from REMEMBER REMEMBER from V for Vendetta, Dario Marinelli. perhaps anyone could have written it. so what. still cool. I mean, the chords, they don’t seem obviously (perhaps I’m wrong) built on movement by 5ths or 4ths… just containing Eb.

ADHD Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, African Music, CalArts (California Institute of the Arts), Frustrations about women 'n' stuff, I'm a Crazy Artist, Minimalism, Music, Philosophy, Rhythmic Insanity, Self-Helping, Thought of the Day, Uncategorized

this is the life

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man, god DAMN there’s nothing better than doing awesome things over and over and over!
proverbial EDGING (look it up)
hearing or playing “already extremely repetitive music” over and over for hours.
be as good as fucking coolly or hotly that long. or driving and hearing music…. or any shit… dancin, exercising…. fuck yeah this is life.

ADHD Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Harmony, I'm a Crazy Artist, Music, Music Theory, Thought of the Day, Uncategorized, Wagner

I taught a Super Awesome Class on Wagner

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I taught a Super Awesome Class on Wagner, the Leitmotifs of The Ring, to rather young people two years ago. fuckin loved it. it’s amazing that a place let me
desire to teach the sublime subtle amazingness that is the Composite Leitmotif of THE NEED OF THE GODS…. (composite because it is made up of several other Leitmotifs),
to REVERSE-ENGINEER everything that newbies (to Wagner) would need to even attempt to gain an understanding of WHY it is amazing, what the dramatic symbols are, what they meant in their original contexts, and how they evolved into THIS, and WHY it’s just so Moving….

ADHD Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, CalArts (California Institute of the Arts), Frustrations about women 'n' stuff, Harmony, I'm a Crazy Artist, Minimalism, Philosophy, Rhythmic Insanity, Self-Helping, Thought of the Day, Uncategorized, Wagner

so, relationships….

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might seem strange to say this…. but a lot of people seem to have relationships.
my therapist today said that plenty of these people (and relationships) are not in fact happy ones, indeed.
it has occurred to me, the unhappy ones and “just because this is what everyone does and so I guess I should do it too” ones not withstanding-
so I guess these people must ENJOY doing this then, huh…
so I’d better start
NOT using other people as ways to make MYSELF feel better about myself (instead of just loving myself just because, first,) and
um,
doing whatever it is that people do together that they seem to enjoy, WHICH-
being Adhd, and already having a lotta things that are super fun to do, and already doing plenty of them, …
sometimes I have a hard time imagining (aside from Sex of course)
things to do with a partner that would compare with the stuff I already do, ya know, drumming, listening to music, and other stimulating things.
I mean, yeah, people be together, yeah…. just….
sometimes it’s tough for me to imagine feeling good or relaxed, or stimulated, or interested at all, when something involves spending “as much” time with another person as a relationship seems like it’d involve.
I am a loner, after all.
we shall see, I guess.

(I tagged all this music stuff in this because said music stuff is a lotta the stuff I enjoy, and don’t need to be in a relationship to love deeply, for it to make me truly happy…. sharing it with another might be okay, but seriously, it’s already great without em…. I don’t need style crampage…) but yeah, some affection might be nice.

ADHD Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, CalArts (California Institute of the Arts), Frustrations about women 'n' stuff, I'm a Crazy Artist, Philosophy, Self-Helping, Thought of the Day, Uncategorized

normal???

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somehow (and I know how) because of my childhood and feelings and such, there are some “fairly normal human behaviors” that I regard as otherwise.
I’ve really gotta…. accept that it’s really okay if I engage in these behaviors. avoiding them… hasn’t really made me happy.
though doing other behaviors has… I can be happier, and happier is better than happy. still, happy at all is better than not happy at all.
‪#‎whatsnormal‬

ADHD Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, CalArts (California Institute of the Arts), Frustrations about women 'n' stuff, I'm a Crazy Artist, Music, Philosophy, Self-Helping, Thought of the Day, Uncategorized

the fast-track to growing up LAST.

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man in spite of my age I am on the fast-track to growing up LAST.

but then, that’s comparing myself unfavorably to others, and it is also giving importance to certain “norms” of behavior…
so what if others do things sooner in life than me(even my younger crazy artist friends,) so what indeed.

they haven’t done what I HAVE.

no one gets to say that the NORMS are more meaningful/important than the things I HAVE DONE.

so there.

Harmony, I'm a Crazy Artist, Music, Music Theory, Thought of the Day, Uncategorized

EbM7 over G, GbM7 (OVER G!) and EM over G…

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so I heard an arrangement of Stolen Moments by Oliver Nelson of course, other night.
over the G in the melody (c minor)
at the end of the head….
suddenly, over (under, rather) a sustaining G…
they played
EbM7,
GbM 7 (OVER a G…)
then EM, also over a g, with NO 7th, major or minor.
I LOVE such shit, but, I am curious….
was there any logic to that, or did they JUST SOUND COOL, or did they just sound “DIFFERENT” AND DIFFERENT IS GOOD when you are playing a jazz standard that has been played many times and you can get sick of it…

regardless, love such things, I.

ADHD Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, CalArts (California Institute of the Arts), Frustrations about women 'n' stuff, I'm a Crazy Artist, Music, Self-Helping, Thought of the Day, Uncategorized

would WOULD I do when I liked someone…

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so HERE’s a question…no, wait-

“….. now THERE’SSSSSSS a Bat-mannnnnnnnn.”

so, as I was saying…
if I DID like someone, um, aside from playing music, listening to music, talking about music, or having sex…or just talking to them…

what WOULD I want to DO SOCIALLY or anti-socially with them…

do I even KNOW this?

one thing that seems to drive me fucking bananas in a bad way is being in um, social situations that don’t really involve music, or that DO involve um, things unfamiliar and uncomfortable (and also not that interesting too, it should be stated.)

I mean, GOD DAMMIT learning new things SUCKS. (yes, I’m early-teenage-mike here, who never learned anything that most people did, yes. I’m 12. or 8 still, yes.)

AND_

people that I DO seem to like (so few, it seems…)

do I REALLY like them, or are they just so similar to me, and is THAT why I like them….

never ending god damn questions…

seems I really don’t know…

ADHD Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Frustrations about women 'n' stuff, I'm a Crazy Artist, Philosophy, Self-Helping, Thought of the Day, Uncategorized

balance scary new with familiar good and old

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….you shouldn’t just break your back PUSHING into new situations which you may find TERRIFYING and CONFUSING and UPSETTING and OVERWHELMING…. why torture yourself?

surely it’s better to mix in some things that FEEL GOOD and COMFORTABLE and FAMILIAR too. you don’t have to be perfect, or a MARYTR to SELF-SACRIFICE, in spite of any youthful (probably male) feelings of insecurity and need for approval from someone.