hmmm…
something tells me that when you do something that is already approved of/known by the status quo, that it can become popular right quick.
that’s probably definitely certainly
less true for something unusual and unknown…
but let’s be CalArts-Strong about it shall we?
I love rehearsing and playing music I like/love. but never in the “let’s get it over with” way; ALWAYS in the “we love this there isn’t anything we’d WANT to do!”-way!
(I really don’t understand musicians who don’t feel that way, but, lucky me.)
just saw a blog containing the words “SPLINTERED MIND” (ADHD-related) in the title.
my thoughts:
(an exercise of The Backwards-Bizzaro-Theory)
Our Adhd mind is only “splintered” if you consider the non-adhd mind NORMAL, WHOLE.
Maybe our mind is normal, whole, and yours is one track, low-energy.
yes sir, on the way to achieving balance, I’m all about inverting/reversing norms all the way.
no need to hurry, I’ll get to balance some day, if I am meant to.
on-going thoughts of -whatever-
when do I owe it to people to try to MAKE THEM COMFORTABLE… I mean, SERIOUSLY, let’s think about this-
how can you KNOW that “the status quo SOCIAL “NORMSSSSSS”
REALLY ACTUALLY make people comfortable?”
isn’t it JUST as likely (with MY kind of people it is)
that
they too
think that said social niceties are kinda stupid
and that they will be HAPPIER, THANKFUL, if you just cut through and get to ACTUAL SUBSTANCE, you know,
things that
MATTER?
I certainly think so.
BOOyah!
James Brown Make Happy.
this is an ongoing experience of mine, thinking about this. and life.
and now: actual thoughts. (if impatient, skip the first 11 lines)
topic today: creative matters.
I am concerned about which aspects of my life to try to control, and which not.
I am concerned that I always want to do things in a (typically non-conformist) “creative/artistic” way, rather than “that other way” that most people, even creatives, even artists, use.
and now for specifics:
I don’t like to BOTHER unless I’m going ALL IN, or at least, “very far in, intensely.” (this is not sexual.)
(skip to here) the way I see it,
you have to do a lot of infrastructural work just to set something up, to make it work. (which is generally a pain in the butt.)
if you are going to do that,
I think it is best to then maximize the situation and do as much as possible as extreme as possible with the “situation” you have set up, and then have to tear down.
OTHERWISE, it’s like
1. going to a gas station.
2. getting out of the car
3. paying for the gas.”
4. ONLY GETTING FIFTY CENTS WORTH.”
5. yadda yadda.
and having to do it again soon.
50 cents of gas ain’t no fun.
a full tank is.
proverbially of course.
unless you are being paid a ton of money, getting all dressed up to perform for 30 seconds
instead of for 2 hours
just ain’t it.
(I never said this approach was practical.)
the topic “feeling fundamentally flawed and somehow Unlovable”
is of interest to me, in the ways that it manifests in me, and in others.
of course no one is really either of those things, but some people unfortunately live as if they are.
gotta… not do that:)
an email from CALARTS ASKING ME FOR MONEY!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
things to say:
1. I went to CalArts.
2. it is the coolest place on earth; I love it, with an L.
3. I love music and art and dance stuffs, and they are awesome.
4. I don’t make much money (though I know that music and art and dance are “there very own wonder and that is good enough.
coolest presents I got, as usual lately
are BOOKS.
I SAW THE WORLD END by Deryck Cooke
WAGNER’S RING AND IT’S SYMBOLS by Robert Donnington
FIGHT CLUB the novel
DESERT TO DREAM, a big coffee table book of burningman photos
Mom and Dad, LITERATURE PEOPLE as they are, are proud. Smile.
I put the T in ENTP/INTP
the ideas in this post need clearer explanation. I’ll get to that some time.
A post about the film THE HURT LOCKER.
SPOILER ALERT! DON’T READ THIS till you SEE IT!!
seriously!
…
…
…
ready? ok.
the first time I saw the end, when he goes back… I felt what I imagine was intended, kinda shock and horror at how a man could become addicted to the adrenaline rush that they feel in a war.
but every time since,
I have felt, shall we say, something else.
as he is walking in slow motion, and then it jump cuts to him in the suit… with that super loud THRASH music…
I feel who is anyone to judge anyone for what is best for them in life…
there are things about life that I love very much (not war, no.)
sometimes, as in the case of The Dude from The Big Lebowski….
sometimes there’s a man… and… he’s the man, for his time and place.
ADHD is not “addiction, for one.
I am not addicted to war, no.
but there are things that I find “highly stimulating.”
fortunately, for me, they are mostly music, not some ‘foreign substance, i.e, a drug” that I put in my system.
nobody can tell me, nor indeed anyone,
that they shouldn’t be this way, that they shouldn’t get “what they need”, in “their” amount and in a way of “their” choosing. (albeit, if it’s really drugs we are talking about, and I’m not sure it is…. it might or might not change the equation.
I mean, is adrenaline a drug?
is developing tolerance for things, adrenaline included, bad?
who’s to say?
(this is why a film wins best picture, in ambiguities like these.)
certainly not “normal people.” anymore than someone different is to say that “normal people” are doing it wrong. though, we may often think so, I certainly do.
All I am saying is that when I see Sgt. James walking in Iraq, in slow motion at the end of the film…. in the suit….
having nothing to do with America, or War or anything… Edmund, I didn’t take any pro or anti-us stuff from the film, was on a different level for me, as you can see)
I felt empowered. very very VERY MUCH.
to this day, I get a BIG rush in that last scene (see above… it’s High Stimulation.)
not because of war. I was against our invasion or Iraq.
because sometimes people need to do what’s right for THEM, regardless of how it might appear to others.
this is why a film wins best picture. because of ambiguities like these.
In High Stimulation we trust.
p.s. this is all about MUSIC, and MY FEELING that people have often not been in sync with, not understood, my tastes, and the comparatively extreme nature of my musical tastes, to others’.
I love Wagner, West African Drumming of various kinds, Minimalism by Steve Reich and Philip Glass, James Brown, Jazz, and many other things too.
sometimes I like to hear the same thing over and over for hours.
sometimes I hear the same thing over and over in MY HEAD, automatically, for hours.
sometimes I love playing music for hours…. sometimes I like doing it until I’m dead tired and can’t drive home (but have to anyway… coffee…)
High Stimulation Music is life. for me.
so again, this post was not about war… it was about me, and music, which somehow, I saw in the last scene of the Hurt Locker.
(Incidentally, there are Tritones in the chords of this music…. pimp)
I’m CalArts.
I’ve met several people from Mills College, and all of them are crazy and weird in almost a different way than us. very curious. I’d like to meet more of them. (almost all of the ones I have met also attended CalArts, so that’s “sample contamination.”
)this is not a serious post(
