in keeping with this theme I heard of tonight of “what the fuck am I, a musician, doing with my life?” which I heard from at least three friends tonight, I shall say:
what should I be doing, and how should I be doing it, and woe is me but how do I always have not a clue what to do, when everyone else?
and fuck’s sake, don’t tell me that no one else does, it’s bullshit!
everyone else doing this is “DOING” SOMETHING.
I’M NOT. I’m just SITTING here.
other people are PLAYING MUSIC, WRITING MUSIC, RECORDING MUSIC (ok, yes, I do a little of that, yes, a little playing, yes.)
but other people have DOZENS more gigs than I, many more students, more connections, more ACTUAL ACTIONS,
more of a sense of “WHAT” the options even “ARE.”
I NEVER get this, ever!
in anything.
fucks sake, where “IS” my attention…
p.s. you likely won’t be able to advise me.
if you say your advice the wrong way (not easy to explain what “the wrong way” is,) It’ll just glance of me, I’ll not hear it, I’ll fight it, or decide you’re a dick.
so confusing, life, yes.
Category Archives: Music
Music Thoughts
being willIng to “go without”
being willIng to “go without”, if you have to compromise too much, is a good thing indeed.
progress: just because people are available
I also seem to have begun learning that just because options present themselves does not mean that I want them.
this is good.
just because people are available does not mean I want them.
nice to experience this.
(ladies! my standards are going up! get me while you can! muahahaha)
my it’s easy to compare yourself
my it’s easy to compare yourself and get less happy late at night, after encountering others.
lets NOT do that, let’s sleep.
MAN, relaxing in a social intimate way
MAN, relaxing in a social intimate way one on one, even in a social place, has always been hard for me.
I should say more about this.
soon.
man, cool music really DOES
man, cool music really DOES make me not give a fuck!
a wonderful thing, who needs drugs. I got beats and the blues and dominant sharp 9 chords, bitches.
never rejoice in others’s suffering
never rejoice in others’s suffering, that just says things about you and your own pain. deal with that instead.
but yes, if it happens it happens.
and it has.
OFFICIAL MIKE ROBBINS SLOGANS of Burningman 2015 were/are:
OFFICIAL MIKE ROBBINS SLOGANS of Burningman 2015 were/are:
“I don’t give a fuck!” and
“Hell yeah” (Neo voice, from the kung fu scene in the fist matrix.)
they both pertain to being exhausted as fuck, worrying less, and having a great (musical) time in spite of being exhausted as fuck.
as I am still saying ‘Hell yeah”, It seems safe to say that I am still exhausted as fuck and having a great musical time.
it was a DISCO party that did it… ooh yeah. and my flashy light sabre thingy.
so, I went to Burningman 2015 (not for the first time)
more about it later.
it is currently day 11 (almost 12) of the POST-BURNINGMAN HAZE (I don’t do drugs, it’s just that being out there for days, basically ON the whole time, even when passing out exhausted, is REALLY exhausting, and has been EVERY year I’ve gone, going back to 2003 (this was my 6th time.)
more later.
love, and stuff, me
man, if this love, or marriage, or whatever, thing,
happens to me, if it’s anything like that in the photos of my friends,
it’s gonna be awesome.
just imagine… people happy, people smiling…
people feeling good enough, people accepting, even loving.
nice ideas.
fuck, I cried a tear typing that.(what can I say, friends, this much isolation, for this long, self-imposed or otherwise, is just painful sometimes.) (no, always.)
life could be magical.
perhaps some time it will.
HAPPY people, a HAPPY person.
happy ME and happy her too.
just imagine.
pretty different than the loveless existence I call life, these days, and all days.
BUT LETS START WITH US, yes.
I love me.
I must say this, I must learn this.
I live my life, not someone else’s.
p.s. I got music, I got friends, I got family, I got a lot. just, ya know. it’s different.
I didn’t mean that life is always painful, but it IS so whenever I’m in the proverbial vicinity of, uh, relations and connections of a potentially sexual nature with women.
gotta reach out.
even though I’m weird, and people will reject me plenty.
gotta reach out.
I hate that.
gotta reach out.