in keeping with this theme I heard of tonight of “what the fuck am I, a musician, doing with my life?” which I heard from at least three friends tonight, I shall say:
what should I be doing, and how should I be doing it, and woe is me but how do I always have not a clue what to do, when everyone else?
and fuck’s sake, don’t tell me that no one else does, it’s bullshit!
everyone else doing this is “DOING” SOMETHING.
I’M NOT. I’m just SITTING here.
other people are PLAYING MUSIC, WRITING MUSIC, RECORDING MUSIC (ok, yes, I do a little of that, yes, a little playing, yes.)
but other people have DOZENS more gigs than I, many more students, more connections, more ACTUAL ACTIONS,
more of a sense of “WHAT” the options even “ARE.”
I NEVER get this, ever!
in anything.
fucks sake, where “IS” my attention…
p.s. you likely won’t be able to advise me.
if you say your advice the wrong way (not easy to explain what “the wrong way” is,) It’ll just glance of me, I’ll not hear it, I’ll fight it, or decide you’re a dick.
so confusing, life, yes.
Category Archives: ADHD Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
ADHD is awesome, mostly.
being willIng to “go without”
being willIng to “go without”, if you have to compromise too much, is a good thing indeed.
my it’s easy to compare yourself
my it’s easy to compare yourself and get less happy late at night, after encountering others.
lets NOT do that, let’s sleep.
MAN, relaxing in a social intimate way
MAN, relaxing in a social intimate way one on one, even in a social place, has always been hard for me.
I should say more about this.
soon.
just listening, perhaps without advice…
just listening, perhaps without advice…
man, cool music really DOES
man, cool music really DOES make me not give a fuck!
a wonderful thing, who needs drugs. I got beats and the blues and dominant sharp 9 chords, bitches.
never rejoice in others’s suffering
never rejoice in others’s suffering, that just says things about you and your own pain. deal with that instead.
but yes, if it happens it happens.
and it has.
OFFICIAL MIKE ROBBINS SLOGANS of Burningman 2015 were/are:
OFFICIAL MIKE ROBBINS SLOGANS of Burningman 2015 were/are:
“I don’t give a fuck!” and
“Hell yeah” (Neo voice, from the kung fu scene in the fist matrix.)
they both pertain to being exhausted as fuck, worrying less, and having a great (musical) time in spite of being exhausted as fuck.
as I am still saying ‘Hell yeah”, It seems safe to say that I am still exhausted as fuck and having a great musical time.
it was a DISCO party that did it… ooh yeah. and my flashy light sabre thingy.
I don’t seem to know how to have a good time unless I’m acting pretty extreme. (I mean, by OTHER AVERAGE PEOPLE’S STANDARDS, that is
I don’t seem to know how to have a good time unless I’m acting pretty extreme. (I mean, by OTHER AVERAGE PEOPLE’S STANDARDS, that is (according to MY standards, I’m totally normal, and most people are boring, so there.)
I mean when you tone it down…
it’s just no long fun.
it’s exactly the same as why
1. doing something that involves a whole lotta waiting, but only a TINY amount of actual participation/doing, is no fun, and what I really meant to say was
2. when you like things to be rather intense, but then you go and do “not intense” versions of them…. they lose ALL that makes them enjoyable at all.
when you are accustomed to dancing/drumming for 30 minutes, 2 hours,
doing so for 5 minutes is just too little.
when you are accustomed driving 70 or 80 miles an hour (I don’t drive all that fast, actually,)
driving 30 sucks…
when you are accustomed to playing drums, or doing pilates or yoga, to the point when you are sweaty and REALLLLY feeling it….
doing less is just….. lame, man. just lame.
I need people who wanna run with me and fuck shit up, so to speak
and frankly, I gots plenty of em.
lets ride.
some people make me feel real stupid.
some people make me feel real stupid. (only a few)
they’re all real smart.
but (perhaps I’m off)
but I don’t think it’s because they’re smart. I think it’s….
it’s because I have deemed them to be
pompous and arrogant. yep.
they sometimes “advise” me. but the manner in which they do it somehow hurts.
I have other friends who do the same thing in a manner that does not hurt.
perhaps this says more about me than about something else.
chemistry.
whatever.
some people trigger an old feeling of not being visible/mattering to my parents. no fault of the people triggering it.
I’m only human.