philosophy
1. deleted 200 gigs of “duplicates only” (duplicates only?)
of taken-up-space on an external h.d.
2. then deleted 275 gigs (!!!) off the actual computer.
wow.
after the first 100, it stopped “taking over a minute, if not 30 of them” to do things that should take only one second.
tangible evidence.
#marxbrothers.
if you don’t like/love yourself,
you won’t LET others like you (love as well) and
if they get to close, you’ll actively do things to PUSH them away, sabotage.
seems to be a “reflective” in and out type of situation.
so, like yourself. then you’ll allow others to.
I like myself.
I like myself.
it’s pretty great, being in a place where you feel safe being UNself-conscious, UNjudged, like you BELONG.
slowly but surely, this place expands outward from where it first happens for you, to other places too,
even though the “people” in those “other places” may be by and large not that fun.
YOU are.
better than nothin.
and still-
it’s nice to be in the original place too.
I knew a guy named ***, and a woman named ####, in undergrad.
both played trumpet (not at CalArts, before it.)
people, I think a bit disparagingly, called him “Cool ***” (he simply had one of those kinda charismatic NYC voices, that’s all, and he smiled a lot, that’s all,)
and the other, people called, Crackhead ####.
BOTH, behind their back, NEVER to their face.
I of course, didn’t see why either name would be offensive IN THE SLIGHTEST,
so I of course, called both of them these nicknames TO THEIR FACE,
MOST UN-self-consciously (and proud of it, thank you very much.)
It’s not that was socially inept, but I simply didn’t find those terms offensive, nor see any reason why they should be.
if the names had ACTUALLY hurt their feelings, (and if they had ACTUALLY, CLEARly communicated to me that they DID,)
I’d have of course not used them.
I tend to assume, when I talk to people DIRECTLY, that they mean what they say. (I usually do, myself.)
hell yeah.
(to this day, when someone has a nickname (usually something I cook up myself,) I ASK them, POINT FUCKING BLANK, do they mind if I use it, for I had pretty uncool nicknames when I was little. I won’t want to hurt their feelings if using the nickname would, but again, alas,
they need to be clear with me about their true feelings.”)
You deserve to be loved
first and foremost by Yourself.
never surround yourself with others who revile you.
it’s kinda like relationships or marriage.
there are people who really love you and WANT you.
others may accept you, others revile you.
why would you choose any but the first?
there are people who really wanna make things happen, and there are others who just sorta do, and other who don’t wanna at all.
use the ones who really wanna.
tagged WAGNER because he was the CAN DO variety of MASSIVE proportions.
-the answers to WHY I haven’t and am not “doing” much more with my life are not profound, they are SIMPLY
out of habit, and
too disconnected from other people doing similar things, to energetically leach off of; that is, benefit from by mutual doing.
let’s get together and do good ideas, people.
thought of the day:
1. slut-shaming is bad
2. sex is wonderful
3. sex is beautiful.
stop being shameful,