wow, I really do “love” coffee and James Brown on repeat…
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BE YOURSELF. MANY MANY TIMES.
note to self…
you KNOW what “normal people” are gonna say about your ways of doing things, so why bother asking.
they’re gonna disapprove (maybe) and tell you you should be more normal, or more like THEM and less like YOU.
poing(poing? point) being:
if you haven’t already gone all the way with BEING YOURSELF,
then don’t bother asking others for advice on how to be them instead of how to be you- just go through with being you.
you probably are lacking confidence, you probably are assuming that you should get the same results as others, you probably are comparing yourself to them.
unless you have a TON of experience, screw all that.
go back to being yourself, and stick with it, and not with a disempowered impoverished, “if I fail one time, I give up” version of yourself, but a Strong, Courageous, TO THE HILT version. MANY TIMES.
if THAT STILL fails, only THEN think about a new plan.
until then…. stick with plan A, that is,
BE YOURSELF.
making people comfortable/uncomfortable
on-going thoughts of -whatever-
when do I owe it to people to try to MAKE THEM COMFORTABLE… I mean, SERIOUSLY, let’s think about this-
how can you KNOW that “the status quo SOCIAL “NORMSSSSSS”
REALLY ACTUALLY make people comfortable?”
isn’t it JUST as likely (with MY kind of people it is)
that
they too
think that said social niceties are kinda stupid
and that they will be HAPPIER, THANKFUL, if you just cut through and get to ACTUAL SUBSTANCE, you know,
things that
MATTER?
I certainly think so.
BOOyah!
James Brown Make Happy.
this is an ongoing experience of mine, thinking about this. and life.
-better-than-average-
HAHAHAHA!! SELF CRACK UP!!!
I just realized (it has been dwelling in me for some time)
that I seem to trust people who evince very obvious signs of
“not accepting, not settling for, normal society.”
when people (seem to at least) evince such signs….
it seems that I get all excited, as if “OOH, another one? maybe?? will you be my friend?”
(and yes, a lot of such people, even most of them that I know, attended CalArts.)
big projects only, please
and now: actual thoughts. (if impatient, skip the first 11 lines)
topic today: creative matters.
I am concerned about which aspects of my life to try to control, and which not.
I am concerned that I always want to do things in a (typically non-conformist) “creative/artistic” way, rather than “that other way” that most people, even creatives, even artists, use.
and now for specifics:
I don’t like to BOTHER unless I’m going ALL IN, or at least, “very far in, intensely.” (this is not sexual.)
(skip to here) the way I see it,
you have to do a lot of infrastructural work just to set something up, to make it work. (which is generally a pain in the butt.)
if you are going to do that,
I think it is best to then maximize the situation and do as much as possible as extreme as possible with the “situation” you have set up, and then have to tear down.
OTHERWISE, it’s like
1. going to a gas station.
2. getting out of the car
3. paying for the gas.”
4. ONLY GETTING FIFTY CENTS WORTH.”
5. yadda yadda.
and having to do it again soon.
50 cents of gas ain’t no fun.
a full tank is.
proverbially of course.
unless you are being paid a ton of money, getting all dressed up to perform for 30 seconds
instead of for 2 hours
just ain’t it.
(I never said this approach was practical.)
mistaking queen for the beetles
I’m so out of it I just heard a QUEEN song and for a full ten seconds thought it was THE BEETLES.
I should probably be checked for roaches
harmony can win me over
you know, I might be “weird” like that, BUT-
when the harmony of a tune is awesome, I will also like the beat of the tune, maybe, simple as it may be.
that’s not at all the case if I don’t like the harmony.
I suppose this is kinda like, liking something about a person, and through that, learning about other things about them that you wouldn’t have cared about otherwise (and that you might indeed not care about in other cases.)
blah blah… the love affair with music continues.
certain harmonies/rhythmic feels GET ME
certain harmonies and rhythmic feels just GET ME, man. like that. I can hear such things like they are an addictive drug nonstop for hours.
they aren’t though. which is cool, cause, drugs are bad, but music is good:)
which reminds me of my “curious” reading of the end of The Hurt Locker.
such as this song right here, for some reason (it’s in C Dorian. that’s the reason I think. c d eb f g A NATURAL Bb…. yeah yeah yeah yes yes)
not making other people’s issues mine
I really need to stop feeling the need to make other people’s issues mine, I mean, childhood is over, that shit is gone, no need to keep doing it.
Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys. remember this.
and also:
My Circus…. MY MONKEYS! (referring to musical performers of the unusually awesome variety of course)
Freddie Freeloader make happy!
WOO!, WOW… go from feeling over-analyzing,
then
listen to some FREDDIE FREELOADER (both the original and the the jon hendricks INSANE vocal version (seriously, they took all the solos by Miles, Coltrane, Canonball and the rest and made up words to em, insane)
and POOF!
feel great, happy. if only I was a (censored!) jazz singer. no, no no. z
…
AND WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE A CENSORED JAZZ SINGER?
say, that’s a good name for a band, or a song… no, definitely a band. I call dibs.
especially a punk band…