sigh, WELL
being one of the most sensitive, fearful (and brave, yes, they tell me) people
is crazy sometimes. you’re not supposed SUPPOSED to compare yourself negatively to others, but it’s hard not too. almost ALL of them, either seem to have perfect lives, or have ALWAYS seemed to, even 15 years ago, and those that had “apparent challenges” have nonetheless moved WAY past them, even though these people are like 10 or more years younger than you, if they ever had them at all.
yes, there “are” ” a very few” friends who clearly, like me, DO still have such challenges. I just counted you. I count TEN. everyone else, nope.
but what do I know, really. everyone else “does” have challenges, and of course their lives aren’t perfect, though hell they sure seem to me….
let’s change tone from “already fluctuating between genuine and sarcastic and resentful” to
thoughtful….
…
no, I am not in these people’s heads. perhaps they ARE unhappy, perhaps they DO wish for what I have, yes.
ok, hell with it, let’s stay happy, there’s things to do after all…