it’s always a combination, with me,
why I’m different than others.

part of it is always that

2. I was/am VERY afraid of rejection (not in all ways,) and
another part is always that
1. I’m ADHD and was paying attention to DIFFERENT aspects of things, than non-adhd’ers
1a. I’m also real smart, they say. that too.

oh, and

3. sometimes I am simply far more interested in the different aspects than in the uh “normal” ones.