Q:if I am capable of doing A LOT of things that I want…
then why do I
do
almost non them
day in and day out?
A:I am SIMPLY
not
in the habit of being effective.
I am simply
not trying.
this I bet is difficult for non-adhd people to understand correctly.
many of them would assume that if one is not doing something, it’s because one does not want it.
but life is far more complex than that.
long story short:let’s get the fuck going.
Category Archives: ADHD Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
ADHD is awesome, mostly.
I never seem to even know HOW to
I never seem to even know HOW to pursue what I want…
especially when people attempt to inform me but “the way in which they
a. tell me
b. suggest that I go about it
are antithetical to “what “I” would do.
really gotta try again and do what “I” would do, and live with it.
only then shall I fail and succeed.
tail end of a conversation bout music.
tail end of a conversation bout music.
most things don’t “do it” for me… NO, wait, most things don’t do it for me IN THE WAY THAT I WANT at the moment, that is, in the way that SAID THINGS DO do it for me. I like proverbial cocaine. thatis, High Stimulation.
something fun once, is fun a million times too.
hence
African Music
and Minimalism.
And Brazilian Music.
and any (boorbaar) combination of these.
Hey, dig my piece
Capitalism’s Downward Pressure to be mediocre
Still haven’t heard how the Ayn Rand camp defends the fact that capitalism has a downward pressure to produce as little as possible and sell it for the most.
these clowns have to admit at some point that this results in making garbage and presenting it as treasure, the very thing that they accuse socialists of, yes?
“enshrining mediocrity.”
isn’t that what capitalism and oligarchy are doing?
why else is pop music these days nothing but commercial GARBAGE?
ain’t apologizin, eat it. guess I’m old now.
no, I ain’t old, I’m educated and have good bloody taste. never liked most pop music. only reason I liked James Brown (and really, is that pop music? was it ever?) is cause I happen to dig the rhythms and the harmonies and the fact that they repeat a lot. it’s happenstance. if they weren’t as they are, I’d pass over James Brown, as I do a lotta funk that doesn’t have “certain” chords and “certain” rhythmic feels and “isn’t repetitive such that it pulls me in and I want more and more of it.”
still haven’t heard from the Ayn Rand Camp where they get off thinking that capitalism doesn’t unnecessarily (at this point in history) encourage
Willful STINGINESS. rather than actually thinking and actually caring and actually deciding WHAT CONSTITUTES a GOOD JOB at something, a thing WORTH doing.
not just DOING It, regardless of it’s meaning and place in the general scheme of things, if it has one at all.
SEE? I HAVE LEADERSHIP SKILLS!!! hahahaha (this is a joke, but it isn’t)
“James Brown is God.” no joke. not god, just awesome. hows that for a disclaimer.
unpaid gigs are better in ways that matter
… I don’t suppose “UNPAID GIGS” were always a lot cooler in all ways other than money, than PAID GIGS.
but it seems that the model these days is
-teach people to think that chicken-feed is in fact the greatest meal on earth
-pay the poorest people on the planet (children in 3rd world countries, it seems) as little as possible to make the thing, as cheaply as possible.
-sell the stuff for a shit ton of money to said “dumbed-down people who don’t know better”
-completely ignore anything cultural, historic, intellectual, feeling, human, ANYTHING other than this, reducing people who DO care about
anything other than money
pushing those of us who DO care
too desperation in the process.
man, corporations, if all you care about is money
that is a sad fuckin state of affairs man.
I want no part of your jive-ass garbage machine.
go to hell.
I stick with my unpaid but human and communal and enjoyable and life-affirming gigs.
One thing done, no more
I never seem (unless I like what I’m doing, which means it’s never “work” (unless the work is fun) ahem
I never seem to want to take more than one step at a time towards something (when I am “actually” taking steps, I mean.)
thiS THIS Would be the reason for my new found “keep my house tidy” thing, where I am um, not letting things become a mess….
it’s only because I know, from THOUSANDS of past experiences, that if there are two, three, ten, 100 pieces of “whatever” to organize, pick up, through out, that will be
one, two nine and ninety-nine too many, respectively.
if there are ever “more than one thing to do”, I simply won’t do the work.
as such, we keep it such that there can never be more than ONE piece of misplaced laundry, ONE this, one that, etc.
any more is too much for me of little concentration when there is no interest.
needless to say, when there is interest, I can go all night.
p.s.
MUSIC is a tag in this post because it would be an example of one thing that does not feel like work and IS done all night.
Thought of the Day 4 27 15, ask Self:
Thought of the Day 4 27 15
Ask self daily what I would do if I thought I could do anything, and WITHOUT any guilt or shame from um, other people’s opinions of me (supposed or otherwise)
pretty powerful.
you know, I really do know A LOT of people
you know, I really do know
A LOT of
people, and a high percentage of them are super cool.
this could be and (who shallst I kid)
already HAS been VERY USEFUL.
there are always, for lucky me,
kind folks abounding, to advise, and to play music, and offer kind words, and most excellently to
BE in FUN AWESOME MUSICAL PROJECTS.
hell with all that NORMAL shit that we sometimes have to do for money,
that ain’t the spice or MEANINGFUL stuff in life.
thank thee
not taking things personally and compassion
making things about yourself, taking them personally.
one doesn’t need to do this, but there are reasons it happens.
examining them is good,
and let’s remember that
the fact that one shouldn’t take things personally, does not invalidate the feelings you have which led you to do so.
let us not call ourselves a bad person and judge ourselves, let’s be nice to ourselves, for if you take things personally, you are already hurting and need help with addressing those feelings, you need compassion, from yourself yes, other too perhaps, you don’t need judgement or punishment, they just increase the feelings and make you resentful and worse, no no, you need self-compassion.
in this case.