no matter what happens to you, no matter what you do, no matter who does or doesn’t love you-
YOU’RE STILL YOU.
make
YOURSELF happy and loved, BY YOURSELF.
nothing else will do it “instead.”
Category Archives: Self-Compassion
sometimes fear, others disinterest
sometimes…
sometimes I left fear cause me to not experience, or ask for things, which sometimes leads to me not even knowing that such things exist to be asked for or experienced.
other times I’m simply not interested in the typical way of doing them at all, or I’m not interested in things or people I deem boring, and don’t care to compromise.
sometimes the reason for lack of experience is fear
others it’s simply disinterest.
sometimes one is afraid of something;
others they simply don’t want (this version of) it.
keep these clear.
it’s always a combination, with me
it’s always a combination, with me,
why I’m different than others.
part of it is always that
2. I was/am VERY afraid of rejection (not in all ways,) and
another part is always that
1. I’m ADHD and was paying attention to DIFFERENT aspects of things, than non-adhd’ers
1a. I’m also real smart, they say. that too.
oh, and
3. sometimes I am simply far more interested in the different aspects than in the uh “normal” ones.
don’t compare yourself, don’t compare jan2016
don’t compare yourself, don’t compare.
but I’ve never understood the ease at which other guys seem to engage in conversation with women, all the words flow so easily, I mean, what the fuck are they SAYING…
I don’t understand (don’t compare don’t compare)
how HOW you can find various things other people say interesting…
or why you would do them the disservice of pretending to be interested. to what end, so you can use them for sex?
that doesn’t seem moral to me.
and yet many seem to do it.
JUST don’t get it.
I still think being genuine is important, for some reason.
because I don’t feel I deserve to be normal (that is, dishonest and using?)
no. not that reason.
I don’t how to explain this other (say I’m childish or a narcissist (or smart:)
I find my own thoughts very interesting, and seldom do other things equal those things that I already find interesting.
I don’t want to go back to “less interesting” things once I’ve already found interesting things.
narcissistic? I don’t somehow think so.
my father is like this too. him being this way “was” hurtful when I was little.
I don’t have a kid, nor do I plan on it, so what’s the worry, what’s the worry indeed.
(they tell me that when men have kids, it changes them. we’ll see.)
wait, this entire “conversation” is being caused by my comparing myself to an older guy who has somehow struck up a conversation (the flowing wordy kind which both people “see” interested in,
with a nice looking lady behind me.
I’d be scared to do that, real uncomfortable
DEAR FUCKING GOD
“WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME!!!!!!!!!”
…
…
not sure anything is.
perhaps I simply don’t like pretending to be interested, perhaps I simply lack patience, to put up with others,
and, the lack of touching notwithstanding,
I’m fine it, perhaps.
big sigh.
gonna die some day.
is it really always gonna be like this?
fuckin A.
bring me a nice woman who shares my interests and is hyper
so that we can play together.
if not, no matter, I’ll just keep playing alone.
it’s not that bad.
I AM VALID BECAUSE I AM ME
I AM VALID BECAUSE I AM ME, NOT BECAUSE I AM PART OF SOMETHING ELSE.
not that being part of something isn’t also nice, but it doesn’t define me, BEING ME does.
just try something, even if it won’t be perfect
tonight with the help of a friend I had the great idea
just try something, even if it won’t be perfect,
even if it’s normal ( come on, you know me )
there’s no guilt or shame to be had if it isn’t perfect, if it’s normal.
just take a step.
cause it’s really ok.
a life lived in fear, like mine.
comes to this now.
Gender Roles?
Gender Roles?
…
I’m against Any system that discourages men from being honest with their feelings, and encourages women to feel guilty about being sexual, or alive, even.
I just overheard some teenage girls telling another “not to respond at all” to a guy she liked, cause it would make her seem like she was too into it.
I don’t approve of this.
say what you will about it.
and go fuck yourself if you defend it.
Fuck Gender Roles.
#fuckgenderroles
Behaving the way I want
THOUGHT of the day, 1 10 2015
(among many many others as always)
I’M NOT interested in determining an appropriate way to behave for the situation I’m in;
I’M interested in BEING in situations appropriate to the way I want to behave.
I’m GONNA behave the way I WANT,
if it’s not appropriate “here”, I’ll go someplace where it IS.
so THERE:)
i.e,
I adjust the form for the content, not the content for the form.
tagged burningman because this “happened” at burningman (2003, 2005, and almost 2015 as well.)
HERE”””’s an idea.
HERE”””’s an idea.
acting like there’s an urgent deadline even when there’s not.
no small challenge for me.
I was always amazed by the behavior of goody-tw-shoes kids who did their homework friday afternoon, rather than sunday night…
perhaps I should try it though….
this whole “oh, bedtime tonight is at 2:20am, and it’s only 9 now, so we can put off anything important for several hours, but then we never get to it” thing is… well, less than productive I do say.
other peoples’ behavior isn’t about you
-recognizing when other peoples’s behavior is not a reflection on you at all, is important.
for parents, in various situations, perhaps cultures…
you can that stop imposing your will on others, for how they behave, their instincts, their interests, their modes of expression, are not in fact an expression of much of anything to do with you, but of them.
I find it alarming (though experience of those close to me) that persons should feel guilty through letting others define them.
fucks sake, the hell with the system, and persons your age, define your damn self.
we really ought to teach kids this, instead of what happened to me.